so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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