ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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