i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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