just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
