you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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