They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
