Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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