You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
