so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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