google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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