I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
