I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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