It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
