Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
what day is it and did you see me today?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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