I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
