please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
