dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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