There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
