And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
