My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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