My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
In America we eat man semen.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
