Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
