her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
