when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
True strength comes from lack of pants
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
