he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
