happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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