at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
