Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
