i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
