Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
