did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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