I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
be right there i have to get my cape
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
