HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
