dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
