There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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