you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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