Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
