I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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