Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
