I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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