oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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