awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
