Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
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His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
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Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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