I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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