I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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