i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
