Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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