so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
