that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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