worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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