Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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