Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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