im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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