So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
What a dumb baby whore.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize