I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize