i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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